palingenesis144:

What a fool I was! and yet, in the sight of angels, are we any wiser as we grow older? It seems to me, only, that our illusions change as we go on; but, still, we are madmen all the same.

Joseph Thomas Sheridan Le Fanu 

palingenesis144:

If a woman hasn’t got a tiny streak of harlot in her, she’s a dry stick as a rule.

D. H. Lawrence

modernpirate-mp:

Dear Anon,

Valentine’s Day seems an appropriate
time to talk to the “partner-less.”
Waiting is a limbo when you know there is no defined end.  Waiting is either a mind-set or a fact.  I see no reason to wait/pause your life while
you quest for your D/s partner.  Life is
to be lived, embraced, enjoyed.  Waiting
is something we all do in an ever increasing pattern.  

I had a 2D submissive who’s statement of purpose began with
this pre-amble:  

As I wait patiently for my Master, I do not neglect his future
possession, but rather push it, stretch it, tighten it, perfect it, caress it,
and protect it as he someday will.

When
he comes he will be able to see, in my very flesh, evidence that I was
practicing my devotion to him and his desires long before I even knew his name.

Everything
I do is especially for him

 In
essence, “Act As If” you had a Dom/me, Master or Mistress.  For those who crave guidance, direction and
control and feel that it is a must, I do not mean that you must have everything
“together.”  But not having a Dominant
does not give you license to be a hot mess either.  Ultimately, we are responsible for
ourselves.  When that control is
surrendered and/or accepted, we are fulfilling a recognized need.  But pausing while we wait for that to be
fulfilled can be a recipe for disaster.  Listen
to self help guides, plan, have goals, put yourself in a place where you follow
rules established for yourself as if you were doing so from within a dynamic.

Soul mate?  I don’t know.
I think that timing, life experience and needs/wants/desires of you and
your partner have everything to do with the level of emotion you reach in your
relationship.  I know, from first hand
experience, that repression is a failed idea before it is ever
implemented.  The pain you bring upon
yourselves, your vanilla partners, children and future partners is not worth
pretending to be something your are not.

Self awareness and self mastery are the
key, I believe.  When you say D/s needs,
what do you mean?  If you are looking for
a power exchange relationship, I’m not sure that trusting serial temporary partners
is going to be good for your personal growth, mental state and achievement of
your goals.  It’s kind of like giving a
three year old a Fabergé egg and telling them not to drop it, lose it or throw
it.  Inevitably, that is the course of
events which will occur. You are responsible for your emotional state.  If you are talking about physical needs, that’s
different. 

BDSM is about consensuality and
respect, amongst other things.  While I have heard
about play dates gone awry and more than awry, I am also aware of many more which
have gone extraordinarily well.  I know
of a submissive who has been able to explore her kinks very deeply with a play
partner who insisted that sexual intimacy NOT be part of their scene.  Be discriminating, use common sense, be aware
of what gravity and frenzy are.  Be sure
that both you and your partner communicate, set limits for the scene and have a
clear plan for aftercare for the both of you.

In short, you have options.  No reason exists for putting your life on
hold waiting for that perfect partner to show up like a knight or damsel in
distress.  Work on yourself, live life,
have goals and work to achieve them.
Putting yourself “out there” can only help you to increase the odds of
meeting the partner you desire.

Very timely advice.