I love to bitch and moan about how the images depicted in Tumblr aren’t real.
Shocker!
Everyone wants to look at beautiful things. Everyone appreciates the perfect form.
And as much as we all talk about normalizing the “average” person, we all continue to blog and reblog the beautiful people.
I get it. I do. When I was in the Marine Corps my best friend and I made a pact, if we ever got above 130 pounds, the other would hunt them down.
Ok, that didn’t work out as planned.
I gained an ENTIRE person in less than a year – yes, I DOUBLED my weight – in a year. Doesn’t matter why, it just happened.
Years later, I lost 100 pounds. No pills, no surgery, just hard work.
Lost 100 (actually 96) pounds, gained 57 back.
Fuck me
I don’t look like I imagined, hell…. I barely look like anything I can tolerate.
And yet, I love to play.
I am a masochist, I am a heavy bottom. We can play on Sunday and I will be asking for more on Monday.
I love the sting, the thud, the smack – I love the marks, the reminders.
Once I’m cuffed I don’t care what I look like, all that matters is implements are being whacked against my body. Except that I do care and I’m horrified.
Do I stand there, arms cuffed above me wondering why my belling is rippling? Ugh. Yes, I do.
Do I grimace and imagine what someone is thinking why do my thighs keep shaking? Oh Lord, yes.
Do I think, “why aren’t they with someone attractive?” Yup.
Do I think they are comparing me to others? Welcome to my life.
Do I wonder whether they are secretly wishing they were with someone else? Sigh.
I mitigate at every opportunity. I pull. I tug. I twirl.
Beating me? Latched to the suspension point I will dance and move about.
Have me bent over? I will tug at my drawers and maneuver my body.
My entire existence is dedicated to mitigating how offensive by body is.
Wow. That sucks.
There is nothing I love more than the hell that is rained down upon me during a beating.
There is a release in pain.
I have endured more non-negotiated beatings than I can count.
That I have amazing people willing to give me a beating within negotiated limits is FUCKING AMAZING.
Do I wish that I looked better while they did it? Oh, fuck yes. I’m embarrassed to even ask.
But. I’m a hypocrite.
I want “people” to be body positive even when I am not.
So, here is me being body positive.
Actually, that is lie.
Here is me being proud of marks.
Please ignore the awfulness and just appreciate the hard work that the Domme did.
Sir's submissive 