I am different now. This has been a year of discovery, change and expansion.
The boundaries of my existence are expanding in contrast with my connections. I have opened my mind and my body to experiences I had never even dreamed. But my choice of partners to share this journey narrows.
I am no longer content with the experiences I had before. If there is no one to take, I am not inclined to give. And interestingly enough, when I do, there is less appreciation for it. Nobody to tell me what a good girl I am.
I feel like I am invisible with a vanilla partner. Like they don’t see or appreciate who I am. There is no connection in that. I don’t need to love someone to have sex with them, but I do need connection and appreciation of who I am. And have discovered in this last year that I am, very much to my core, a submissive. And without someone who appreciates this about me, sex feels hollow and unsatisfying. I would rather go without than be with someone who makes me feel invisible.
Boys at my school were so damn easy to tease. It was so fun to lay over a desk and let them have a peek at my stocking tops while I kissed one of my girl friends. Every guy in my class had bulges in their pants and I’m sure a couple of them couldn’t quite control themselves and came right there and then in their pants. I know the rest of them would be jerking off as soon as they got home while they thought about me in my stockings and short skirts. I was already having bi feelings at that age so fooling around and kissing my girl friends was a big turn on for me even if it was just about teasing the guys for them. I don’t think there were many days were my panties didn’t get damp 💋.
Sir's submissive 