sirs-sub1969:

I am different now. This has been a year of discovery, change and expansion.

The boundaries of my existence are expanding in contrast with my connections. I have opened my mind and my body to experiences I had never even dreamed. But my choice of partners to share this journey narrows. 

I am no longer content with the experiences I had before. If there is no one to take, I am not inclined to give. And interestingly enough, when I do, there is less appreciation for it. Nobody to tell me what a good girl I am.  

I feel like I am invisible with a vanilla partner. Like they don’t see or appreciate who I am. There is no connection in that. I don’t need to love someone to have sex with them, but I do need connection and appreciation of who I am. And have discovered in this last year that I am, very much to my core, a submissive. And without someone who appreciates this about me, sex feels hollow and unsatisfying. I would rather go without than be with someone who makes me feel invisible.