Submissive Is An Innate Identity, Submission Is An Action…
Homosexual is an innate, identity. One can choose to not live a homosexual life. One can even choose to live a heterosexual life, or one of celibacy. Those actions do not change one’s innate identity.
The fact that there is a spectrum ranging from 100% heterosexual to 100% homosexual doesn’t change one’s innate identity.
There are thousands of ways to live as a homosexual. There are thousands of ways to live as a heterosexual. There is no “one, true way.”
Same for being a submissive.
One can choose to live a vanila life. One can choose to not submit. One can choose to top from the bottom. One can choose to disobey. None of those choices changes one’s identity.
There’s thousands of ways to live D/s. There’s no one true way.
So yes, you can be a submissive and not actually live submission.
But, when it comes to creating and sustaining a healthy, functional Power Exchange, “topping from the bottom,” and/or deliberate disobedience is antithetical and outright corrosive to the Power Exchange.
Do not confuse your identity as a submissive with the actions of submission.
Being a submissive in a D/s relationship doesn’t guarantee a successful Power Exchange any more than living together guarantees a successful marriage.
There’s a whole lotta time, effort, commitment, and the damned hard work of actually submitting day in and day out.
Sir's submissive 