Denial Countdown – 3 days left!

Getting nervous for my opera date. I know she and I have been flirting (at the beginning I wasn’t quite sure but I am now reasonably confident 😍), but how it will be in person is a completely different thing. We are meeting up with him for drinks afterward. But of course I don’t ask too many questions. I leave the planning to him. All I know is he is going to make it ‘worth the wait’ and we are going to ‘check some things off’ my bucket list. I am getting wet just writing this. But then again, it doesn’t take much after 27 days of edging.

Denial Day 14 – 16 more to go

I was fully prepared for the physical effects of this process. Needy, aching, wet, and constantly thinking of when this will be over.

What I was not prepared for is the mental effects. I am feeling moody and irritable. The distraction of edging is only a distraction while it is happening and then I am right back to feeling either like I want to cry or scream and punch someone. Apparently the lack of endorphins is getting to me.

Exercise helps, but it wears off quickly. What I really need is a good long hard spanking.

But most of all I feel like I am failing because this gift was supposed to for him and I am having difficulty in these moments focusing on that instead of me.

He tells me daily he appreciates this gift and my effort but it is hard when we are not in the same place.

16 more days. Almost half way. Almost to the downhill. This side of the mountain is steep.